Turn “NO” Into a Powerful Positive
February 12, 2010 by Andrea Waltz
What if, starting today, the word “no” didn’t stop you? What if every time you heard the word no, you became stronger, more powerful, and more resilient? Well, you can.
The reality is, most of us don’t like to hear no. We suffer through it. If, when you are working your business and you feel wonderful when you get a “yes,” and you feel bad when you get a “no,” then you are going to feel bad pretty often. In business—especially today—the nos are out there! And if you are feeling bad about the nos you get, you might slow down, get discouraged, avoid business building… you might even quit altogether. If you allow that to happen, all the learning and the time you’ve invested on your business will be for nothing.
So the question is: How do you start feeling good about hearing “no” in your business? It really is possible. You do it by reprogramming the way you think and react to the word no. The truth is, when you hear “no” you are taking action in your business—and that is a very good thing! When you go out of your way to increase the number of times you hear “no,” the yeses will show up at your door in greater quantities than you ever could have imagined!
Here’s an exercise to try: Starting tomorrow, every time someone tells you “no,” immediately say to yourself, “Great, I am one step closer to yes!” At first it’s going to feel strange. You might even feel like you’re lying to yourself. But eventually, you will find that the word no has lost some of its negative power over your emotions.
The next thing I want to suggest is that you start balancing out your emotional reaction to both yes and no. Remember earlier, I mentioned how we typically feel great when we get a yes? Sometimes we even dance around, cheer and celebrate the yes. So what does that do to us when we get a no? It must mean we should be depressed and even punish ourselves for not getting the yes.
Try not to make yes an incredible high and no a depressing low. It’s not healthy! No wonder we feel exhausted sometimes. We are literally putting ourselves on an emotional roller coaster with the yeses and the nos! If the shortest distance between where you are now to where you want to be is a straight line, then let’s stabilize the emotional reactions and avoid the ups and downs. When you get a yes, say to yourself, “Great!” but without the fanfare. And when you get a no, say, “Great! The next one may be a yes. I know the nos bring me the yeses, so I’ll keep going.”
The Challenge: I would like to challenge you to get 10 nos this week—however that relates to your business or achieving your goals. If you get 10 nos, go out and treat yourself because you are engaging in the success behaviors that are going to take you to where you want to go! And who knows, when you go for those 10 nos there might be some yeses hiding in there!
About the Author
Andrea Waltz is the co-author of Go for No! a short, inspirational fable that will transform how you think about failure, rejection and the word no. For more great free information on learning how to turn no from an obstacle into one of your greatest assets, visit: goforno.com.